The conventional wisdom is that bagels should be sliced in half horizontally, then eaten. Even popular bagel practices like toasting and the bagel sandwich are up for debate. This is why so many people on Twitter found the following tweet so disturbing.
Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit! pic.twitter.com/XNGbljtpYz
— Alek Krautmann (@AlekKrautmann) March 26, 2019
This bagel spread — which appears to be from bagel crime purveyor Panera Bread — is essentially many pieces of bread made of bagel flesh. They still taste good, probably, because they are made of bagel, which is a good substance. However, slicing a bagel into bread-like slices means that you're likely to end up with two mini-slices — tiny discs! — that remain once you've cut all the slices on either side of the bagel's hole. Who is supposed to eat these? Are you supposed to take a mini-disc in addition to your slice of bagel? How many slices of bagel is each person supposed to have, anyway? Why not simply slice the bagels in half? Read more...
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